2007 Movie Grade Guide

While this post won't be intellectually stimulating or related to my education class which shares this blog space, it will act as a substitute for my missing Coloradoan editor and the annual "Movie Grade Guide" that I always put together. For those of you who are unfamiliar, I write movie reviews for the local newspaper (archived online) and grade them on an A-F system. Every year around Oscar time, I put out my grades for the previous 365 days. Last year, I blasted the movie industry and ranted about the lack of "good" movies and the terrible abundance of rehashes and special effects shows. This is no doubt related to the Writer's Guild Strike and the studios attitude towards writers in general - don't get me started on that. So what did we see in 2007? Transformers, another Die Hard, an addition to the Rambo series, another Jack Sparrow tale, another Spider-man, another Jason Bourne movie, a return for the Ninja Turtles, Ghost Rider, and a two hour escapade into the town of Springfield. Hmm. Rehashes and special effects shows? 2007 was an even worse year for the movie industry than 2006 - something I thought was nearly impossible. But again, when you don't have writers - sorry, good writers - this is what happens. Honestly, I almost forgot the Academy Awards were going to air this weekend until I saw an ad for them during LOST. To me, the movie industry is in trouble, BIG trouble. Box office sales have been falling since 2003, and 07's numbers are down more than ever while TV ratings are sky-rocketing with the continuing desire for reality shows, and the video game industry is surprisngly the fastest growing medium out there now that Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo are in full swing with next generation software (this doesn't factor in the PC gaming world which is relatively healthy as well). My point is, not as many people are going to the movies anymore. The studios will blame the technology and availability issue, saying people find ways to watch their products with a variety of methods, not just the silver screen. While there may be an element of truth to that argument, I think the CEO's running the movie business need to look at it for what it is - people aren't going to the movie theater because the movies - generally - suck. Fact of the matter is, if a studio puts out a "good" film, people will see it, and they'll pay the ten bucks or whatever it is nowadays to see it in a theater. With that being said, let's move on to my actual grade guide for 2007 (from worst to first):

"Ghost Rider" Grade: F (45%)
The worst movie I've seen in years - if not forever. When people ask what my worst movies of all-time are, I tell them it's hard because you have things like "Napolean Dynamite", "Dude Where's Your Car", "Dungeons and Dragons", and "Day After Tomorrow" that come right to mind, but "Ghost Rider" may be worse than any of those. I can't believe I'm about to write this - for God's sake, slap some sense into me - but I'd probably rather watch any of the aforementioned films on my list of worst movies than "Ghost Rider".

"Grindhouse" Grade: F (50%)
Here's another terrible movie - but wait! It's a double-feature so you get twice the suckage. The first film is a mindless zombie-fest while the second film features Kurt Russell trying to run over women with his 'death-proof' car. Luckily I didn't spend any money to see this one.

"Shooter" Grade: F (55%)
What's up with all of the 'F' movies this year? Am I really becoming a tough, cynical, and bitter critic, or what? By the way, don't waste your time watching this junk.

"Vaccancy" Grade: D (65%)

"Rescue Dawn" Grade: D+ (67%)
How long can Christian Bale run for? Oh yeah, two and a half hours.

"3:10 to Yuma" Grade: D+ (69.9%)
Sorry Dad, but it was a little too chessy for me.

"Transformers" Grade: C- (70%)
'I AM OPTIMUS PRIME!' right...

"Spider-man 3" Grade: C- (72%)
They turned a decent story into a special effects show, what a shame.

"Pirates of the Caribbean 3" Grade: C- (73%)
I did like the Johnny Depp scene where he's stuck with the rock creatures.

"The Hoax" Grade: C (74%)
The real hoax was how they got me to pay to watch it.

"Next" Grade: C (74.1%)

"Live Free or Die Hard" Grade: C (74.2%)
The first Die Hard is still great, but this comes in second as far as the series goes for me. Not sure why everybody liked the third one so much, I thought it was like watching a made-for-tv movie personally.

"The Simpsons Movie" Grade: C (74.3%)
It just didn't have a Simpsonesque feel to me. Bart flashing everybody? Seriosuly...

"Hot Fuzz" Grade: C (75%)
This was actually an 'A' movie until the end where it degrades into a zombie-fest - although the grocery store scene with zombies throwing pineapples at the protagonists cracked me up pretty good.

"The Golden Compass" Grade: C (75.1%)

"Elizabeth: The Golden Age" Grade: C+ (77%)
A very intriguing film. There was just too much confusion in parts for it to really blossom. Definitely worth a rent if you're into the Queen Elizabeth historical time period.

"Ratatouille" Grade: B- (80%)
Probably the worst Pixar movie I've seen, although it is still 'cute' and well done. It's very creative - that's what I love about Pixar, no matter what world they take on, they bring it to life so well withmemorable characters and stories.

"I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" Grade: B- (81%)
This may surprise some of you - considering I generally don't like comedies; especially Adam Sandler comedies - but I laughed out loud at this one. If it's getting a 'B' or better on my list and it's a comedy, check it out.

"American Gangster" Grade: B- (82.2%)
I was really looking forward to this one, but it kind of fell on its face. It's still a decent movie, but it's definitely not the 'A'-list material I was hoping for.

"Ocean's Thirteen" Grade: B (85%)
I really wanted to hate this movie, but as much as I tried, I couldn't. It's clever, funny, and entertaining. It's definitely the best of the 'Ocean' series.

"Charlie Wilson's War" Grade: B+ (86.9%)
Another movie that was supposed to be an Oscar contender, but fell short. It has a lot of good messages in it, but I wish the filmmakers would have had a much clearer stance and representation of what really happened during the Cold War instead of briefly touching upon it. This could've been a great movie, but instead it ended up just good.

"The Bourne Ultimatum" Grade: B+ (87%)
For an action-thriller, this is an awesome film. I really really enjoyed it and it would have easily made my 'A' list if it wasn't for the cop-out ending.

"TMNT" Grade: B+ (89%)
Yes. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back and yes, I gave a kids movie a high 'B'. Of course I was a ninja turtle fan growing up so I'm biased, but for all of you fellow turtle freaks, this is my favorite turtles movie even though it doesn't have the Shredder in it.

"The Kingdom" Grade: A- (90%)
A very powerful film, and the first mentioned 'A' list movie in my guide. The ending is a little sloppy, but everything else makes up for it.

"Atonement" Grade: A- (90.1%)
Originally, I wasn't going to put this on my 'A' list, but the more I thought about it, the more it grew on me. It's a wonderful film, my only beef with it is that the film-makers try to make you believe it's based on a real story and the only way to know that it's not is by reading the credits after the film.

"Cloverfield" Grade: A- (91%)
I was also very hesitant to put this on my 'A' list because it absolutely wouldn't be a very good film if you were seeing it for the second time, or if you knew anything about the film before you saw it. If you know nothing about it, check it out and enjoy - it's intense.

"Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" Grade: A (94%)
As many of you know, the Harry Potter series is up and down, hit or miss with me. Sorcerer's Stone got a 'B' in my book, Chamber of Secrets got a 'C', Prisoner of Azkaban got an 'A', and the Goblet of Fire got a 'D-'. Phoenix is my favorite thus far in the series because it is a little more mature without losing th creativity.

"300" Grade: A (95%)
I'm already into anything that relates to mythology, but this film is simply stunning. The story isn't necesarily great, but the film is probably the most artistic and beautiful film I've seen in a long time. The creativity, camera work, and editing makes the imagination explode.

CO-MOVIES OF THE YEAR
"Sicko" Grade: A+ (97%)
Yes, it's a Michael Moore film, and yes, I really liked all of Michael Moore's previous films where others have not. But to be fair, Mr. Moore isn't such a dominating personality in this documentary about the health care system in the United States. The information he gathers and the perspective he captures is simply astounding. As he says in the beginning of the film, it's not a documentary about the people who don't have health care, it's a documentary about the people who do have health care. If you're scratching your head about how that could possibly be life-changing - yes, life-changing - then go rent it. It's my movie of the year not only because it makes you think, it's real. It's the world we live in and it's messed up.

"No Country for Old Men" Grade: A+ (97%)
I was told to see this movie by several people, and for one reason or another, I never made it to the theater until it was re-released because of its large amount of Oscar nominations. I must say, this is a truly great film. The writing is amazing, and if you don't have your thinking cap on, you'll be confused and you won't get much out of it. So don't go into it expecting a popcorn action thriller or anything like that. To fully appreciate this movie, engage with the dialogue and really pay attention to every detail because it all ties back to the major themes of the script. I highly recommend it.

Overall:
A's = 7
B's = 7
C's = 10
D's = 3
F's = 3

07 Movies I still need to see:
"Michael Clayton"
"Into the Wild"

So as the Academy Awards approach, I'm really pulling for Michael Moore to win Best Documentary with "Sicko", and the Coen brothers to win Best Picture & Best Original Screenplay for "No Country for Old Men". As far as the Best Actor / Actress awards go, I really could care less. Three 'F's is a lot, even by my standards, so hopefully 2008 will bring some better material, although you won't really see any post-writer's strike movies until late 2009 at the earliest (which is bad news).